In all things there is a sweet spot, a point of just the right amount. The right amount of chili, of salt, or of sugar. The perfect volume of G to T. The exact number of mince pies between satisfied and sick. Somewhere there is a Goldilocks moment which is just right. And it’s not just food and cocktails this applies to. As with so many things, the simplest principles are exquisite in how they apply broadly across our lives.
Plunging you quickly now from cake to our deeper selves, how do we know when we are enough? The Goldilocks point of comfort in our own skins. For me, I am not really sure yet what that might feel like. If I stop pushing myself forward all together will I have any momentum to carry me forward? If I carry on pushing relentlessly will I have enough energy to continue? You see, this post is not coming from a place of knowledgeable expertise, I am still very much learning. Winging it is the technical term, I believe!
One of the terrifying things about putting yourself forward as an “expert” is wondering if you are expert enough to qualify. Expert enough that people will find value in what you have to offer. Impostor syndrome is a well recognised aspect of the human condition. I think most people have felt it at some point. It is that small voice in the back of your mind whispering “They will all notice you’re a fraud soon.”. The voice heralding the demise of all you have worked for. Possibly one of the most unhelpful masks our Inner Critic can put on. The Inner Critic sounds different in all our heads, formed from a life time of experiences and internalised beliefs. How much does it take to be enough in the eyes of our Inner Critic (and should that voice be listened to exclusively anyway)? Is there a Goldilocks moment when we are enough in our own eyes?
Somewhere between the many voices of our Inner Critic, our ego, our compassion and our deeper self, is the Goldilocks point. The place we can meet ourselves, our whole, imperfect, expansive selves, and feel contentment. I find that as with all learning, getting near this Enough point seems to by circular. Spiraling ever upwards, returning to the same themes with deeper understanding or new revelations every revisit. It is like swinging wildly back and forth on a pendulum, with each swing we get closer to the still point in the center. Life events sometimes add an extra push to the swing, but knowing how the center felt the last time we swung through helps us return to the middle sooner. I find each time I get close to the middle, a new infinity within a singular point is revealed and the process of centering continues at a more refined level.
Each of us experiences a unique life. The themes are often similar but never identical. When searching for our Golidlocks point of being Enough, this uniqueness of experience comes to the fore. Because our lives are only our own, we are the only person qualified to judge where Enough is. You can’t just lean over and see what answer someone else has written. We have to learn through awareness and feel, how to know deeply within when to strive forwards, when to rest on the swing back and when enough really is Enough.
Please take a moment to comment below on what kind of Enough you are striving for. I’ll start us off, I’m striving to be good enough at the things I choose to do. Your turn…